Mental Health Day

I clearly remember re-setting the time of my alarm clock before I went
to bed last night. Apparently though I forgot the key step of actually
ensuring the clock was set before passing out. When I woke up this
morning two minutes before I should be leaving the house I cursed the
way I fall asleep on the couch then stumble upstairs to bed all the
time. But usually I have a darling husband who ensures I have taken all
the necessary pre-sleep steps before he himself calls it a night. I
could have just called and said I’d be late, but I just decided to stay
home. I didn’t have it in me today.

Truthfully, every little
noise woke me last night, including the racoons knocking over my green
bin and my neighbour’s garbage cans and the dog endlessly getting up
and searching the house for Kev. I’m not sure how effective I would
have been at work anyway. I was never bothered to be alone in our
apartment but now being near to the ground and alone distresses me a
little. This house makes a lot of noise.

I opted out of anything responsible like cleaning today. I watched Kinsey.
I talked to Ingrid on MSN. I took the dog for a long walk and the
sunshine was so beautiful, I decided to go for a bike ride. I adjusted
the seat and put air in my tires all by myself – and told myself that
made up for being such a scaredy-cat girly girl last night.

And
I tried to prepare myself to see my uncle in the hospital. But what I
didn’t realize was, it probably wasn’t possible to prepare myself for
that.

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