So SeXXXy Ingrid and I went to the Bon Jovi concert on Saturday night. Now, I wasn’t too sure how I felt about going since the last time I was a Bon Jovi fan was circa Slippery When Wet, which, if you are keeping track, was the year I was in grade 3. In 1985! Jesus!
Well I have to say it was an interesting crowd. 90% were women, 90% of whom were significantly older than us (and I’m not just saying that because I’m in denial about turning 30 this year). The remaining 10% of men in attendance had clearly been dragged kicking and screaming by their wives or significant others. There was one Anomaly Guy who was rocking out SO HARD that Jon Bon Jovi threw his guitar pick directly to him at the end of the set. Seriously though, he deserved something more along the lines of a filthy, sweaty towel for his efforts. I mean a pick is pretty sweet, but this guy was really rocking out.
Fortunately, a number of older songs made the playlist so all was well for my old-skool sensibilities. My eyes may have glazed over a little during the extended sequence of songs from the new album but that was only because we opted not to take the opportunity to run out for a beer or a chicken sandwich like everyone else in the ACC.
Anyway, the whole point of this is that I had been going on earlier in the evening about how I didn’t really think Jon Bon Jovi was that hot anymore. I implied I’d have to be at least 20 years older to think that he had any sort of sexual appeal. But then he came out and I was forced to admit he was somewhat hot! Despite his ridiculous 80’s cock-rock antics! So then he goes and kisses some girl in the crowd. Like really kisses her. Squarely, on the lips, for a good amount of time – with tongue! Oh no, there’s no half-assed kissing for JBJ! We were all, "Holy shit that girl really got her money’s worth!!!" I even heard some girls talking about it during my lunch break yesterday. It was a BIG DEAL.
Well this morning don’t I hear on TV that JBJ kissed another girl at the show last night? What the hell? I am outraged by this! Goddamn you JBJ! We thought that was a special one-off thing, just for our concert and now we find out you run around kissing chicks willy-nilly? You like breaking girl’s hearts eh?! If I hear you kiss someone tonight there’s going to be hell to pay! You know who gives love a bad name? YOU do Jon Bon Jovi! Bastard!