Fortune Telling

My birthday present from Ingrid was something new for both of us: a trip to a psychic and we went tonight.  When we got to the place Ingrid said I was to have both my palm and tarot cards read then she was quickly whisked off into a little mystical looking room with one psychic while I was taken to the kitchen table (!) by another.

Who knows how much stock I put in this but it was a fucking awesome birthday present! 

So for posterity and for future reference, these are the key points that my psychic, Tina, made:

I’m not meant to be at my job much longer. Someone is holding me back at work, that I am about 2 and a half years behind where I am supposed to be in this job. Interestingly, this time frame coincides with the hiring of a new clerk in my department. In addition to the person holding me back, there is apparently also a man and a woman who are a little above me that are afraid I can take their job and are supposedly "very jealous" of me.  I am advised to be wary of them.  She felt that I will receive a job offer in the next 6 months either from someone I work with or someone I have worked with in the past and that I should pay attention to it because it will be a good offer.  I actually got an offer like this last year from a former articling student, perhaps she’s confused?!  Evidently, I will be successful in a career change because I am very determined and have a strong work ethic.  But would she really tell anyone that they’re a lazy ass and aren’t going to be successful? Obviously I can’t say much about work here, but hey co-workers and former co-workers reading this, this sounds a lot like my department, no?  How could she guess all that?

She says Kevin is indeed the one I am destined to be with.  So sorry Simon, I guess it’s never going to happen for us buddy.  She sees a total of three children for me including twin boys but that the total number may include a child that I had miscarried.  I think she may have revised the number because I looked like I was going to pass out when I heard "three children".   Boys?  Really?  Does it have to be boys?

Major health problems are forthcoming if I don’t get my stress level under control.  She specifically mentioned depression, digestive tract and nerve problems.  "You must stop internalizing things/making everyone believe everything
is fine/putting others before yourself.  DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"  Coincidentally, my acupuncurist told me this exact same thing.  So yeah, nothing new there.  I actually feel like my stress level has improved quite a bit since I started doing yoga but it’s still far from ideal and it seems hopeless because I don’t know how to NOT internalize everything.

She said she could see that I was thinking of moving, that I had doubts about it but it would be a good move and I would be there for a very long time.  Friends, I kinda want to believe that she was just reading my body language, but how do you read that in someone’s body language?

Lastly I am afflicted by a dark cloud of negativity that has been following me around for a few years and will continue to do so for a long time to come.  This is apparently caused by someone from my past, someone I am no longer in contact with who is very resentful toward me doesn’t want me to succeed.  And if I like she can find out who, why and when this was done to me and remove the obstacle –  if I just come back for a spiritual cleansing for only $100.

What do you think?

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