I am feeling pretty good about myself today. Is it the heels? Is it the pink top? Sadly no, it’s because people are so distracted by my hair band that they don’t seem to notice my hair cut is fucking ridiculous. I have, therefore, decided that I will single-handedly bring hair bands back into style.
Since I was feeling so fantastic I had the genius idea to spend my lunch hour engaged in the single-most demoralizing activity known to human-kind: Bathing suit shopping.
It wasn’t so bad in the end. The worst part of the whole experience was the simulated Caribbean temperature in the department store. It added a certain authenticity to the ordeal of trying on ten lycra bathing suits. It helped that I had already decided I was going to buy the first thing that didn’t suggest I might be an elephant. No sense expecting perfection in a bathing suit when it’s obvious I’m no Twiggy even when fully clothed. I ended up with something reasonably suitable I think – a plain black one-piece with a halter top. The halter part is bright blue with black polka dots and I may or may not have purchased it because it looked cute with my hair band. This swim suit says, "I know what you’d really like to stare at is my dimply thighs, but what you should really look at is my breasts! Look at my breasts!"
I’m not typically one to emphasize those either, but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s gotta do.