Dear Family*

The number for Geek Squad is 1-800-GEEK-SQUAD.  That’s 1-800-433-5778.

True, you ARE reaching a "geek squad" when you call our phone number so it’s easy to get confused, but the "geek squad" you are connecting with cares not an iota about your computer.

In fact, you know what, Kevin isn’t in IT anymore.  He’s a train conductor now okay?  So, if you require someone to drive your locomotive, you can call us, but if you need RAM installed or you have a virus or something, do not call us.

* Subject only applies to Family who called 6 times yesterday.  Run Ad-Aware for fuck’s sake, you have spyware.  Like we tell you every time.

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