An Awfully Lonesome Affair

I wonder will death be much lonelier than life.  Life’s an awfully lonesome affair.  You can live close against other people yet your lives never touch.  You come into the world alone and you go out of the world alone yet it seems to me you are more alone while living than even coming and going.  Your mother loves you like the deuce while you are coming.  Wrapped up there under her heart is perhaps the cosiest time in existence.  Then she and you are one, companions.  At death again hearts loosen and realities peep out, but all the intervening years of living something shuts you up in a "yourself shell."  You can’t break through and get out; nobody can break through and get in.  If there was an instrument strong enough to break the "self shells" and let out the spirit it would be grand.

Emily Carr, July 16th, 1933
From Hundreds and Thousands, The Journals of Emily Carr

4 thoughts on “An Awfully Lonesome Affair

  1. I don’t have to be psychic to get the idea that something is going on. I hope that what ever it may be, you’re doing okay. And try to find one thing to laugh about at least once a day. Sometimes it’s damn hard to do, but it’s important to try. This much I’m sure of.

  2. Thanks Kristal. You are right. “Something” is definitely going on but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to write that post. I’m doing my best to do okay, but it is tough. Hope you are hanging in there too.

  3. Take your time in writing it. I can wait to find out. I just wanted to make sure you’re hanging in there.
    As for me? I’m doing okay right now. My dad’s birthday would have been on Easter and my parents anniversary would have been a few days before that, so emotions have definitely been on edge.
    I had the place to myself last night (I moved home with my mom) and had a good cry I’ve been fighting off for a while now.
    I’m feeling better today than I have in a while. Funny, I’ve written more in your comments section yet I can’t seem to write on my own page….
    Take care and stay strong.

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