After I put Christian to bed the other night, I decided to look online for an old friend I used to mud with. We had been sort of out of each other’s loop since I moved. By the time I finally got around to explaining what the fuck was up with me just last week, it turned out his marriage was squarely in the middle of a divorce as well. I was shocked. Not only that both of our marriages had failed, but as it happened, we were both moving out at exactly the same time in June. Pretty weird.
I was interested to talk to him about a few things. I wanted to know how he felt in a general way about marriage. Did he still believe in it? Would he do it again?
Of course, we got a bit mired down in the gory details of our respective splits, but I think where we got to was, sure, we both still believe in love but marriage is a tough sell. My own answer to the question, "would you do it again?" is, "no, I really don’t think so." I suppose "staying open" probably dictates that I shouldn’t shut myself off to the idea completely, but I really don’t feel like I would ever want to do it again. In a pretty bullshit double-standard, however, I truly believe whomever I end up with, should feel like they want to get married.
His answer was more along the lines of, "I’d rather not, but I’d sure hate for a really great girl to get away just because I wouldn’t do it."
I thought about this for a long time after logging off. I’d probably let the person go. I guess we know which one of us actually believes.