Would You Do It Again?

Heart After I put Christian to bed the other night, I decided to look online for an old friend I used to mud with.  We had been sort of out of each other’s loop since I moved.  By the time I finally got around to explaining what the fuck was up with me just last week, it turned out his marriage was squarely in the middle of a divorce as well.  I was shocked.  Not only that both of our marriages had failed, but as it happened, we were both moving out at exactly the same time in June.  Pretty weird.

I was interested to talk to him about a few things.  I wanted to know how he felt in a general way about marriage.  Did he still believe in it?  Would he do it again? 

Of course, we got a bit mired down in the gory details of our respective splits, but I think where we got to was, sure, we both still believe in love but marriage is a tough sell. My own answer to the question, "would you do it again?" is, "no, I really don’t think so."  I suppose "staying open" probably dictates that I shouldn’t shut myself off to the idea completely, but I really don’t feel like I would ever want to do it again.  In a pretty bullshit double-standard, however, I truly believe whomever I end up with, should feel like they want to get married. 

His answer was more along the lines of, "I’d rather not, but I’d sure hate for a really great girl to get away just because I wouldn’t do it."

I thought about this for a long time after logging off.  I’d probably let the person go.  I guess we know which one of us actually believes.   

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