One of the weirder things that happened to me over the holidays occurred at a party I went to with some friends. There was this one very friendly older gentleman there. I thought this guy was totally rad as soon as I saw him because he was wearing this huge gold chain on the outside of his shirt. I really hoped his teeth were encrusted with diamonds. Alas, they were not.
Anyway, the night wore on and when everyone was sufficiently liquored up, this party turned into a karaoke party. I had done a lacklustre job at making conversation up until that point so I gave up and found a spot where I could observe the singing with the people that I was there with. We were standing in a little hallway area when the man with the gold-chain stopped and declared, "Ahhh! I know who you look like! LULU! You know? Lulu?! LULU!!!"
I had no idea who Lulu was, but Ingrid did. She informed me that Lulu sang, "To Sir With Love" in the 60s. That didn’t really help me either, but I appreciated the effort. Every time this man went past he said something enthusiastic about Lulu to me. It all culminated in this final episode: He clamped my cheeks firmly in his hands, pulled me slightly closer and looked me in the eyes. His gold chain glimmered. I had no idea what was about to happen but it seemed very funny to me and I tensed up with suppressed laughter. I was also freaking out a tiny bit. It was a little too … intimate. Of course, all that happened next was another emphatic proclamation of, "LULU!"
True, this story would have been a lot more interesting if something more exciting had happened besides this man hammering home for the hundredth time that I look like this Lulu character. But people don’t grab my face like that on a daily basis – or, uhh, ever – so it was … despite the weirdness, kind of fun.