"The goal is to eat," says the tall German dude I’m talking to. Lisa and I are at a New Year’s Day party. She’s gone off for the moment, leaving me to do my best impression of a human who can talk to strangers without freaking out. Fortunately for me, New Year’s Day comes with a built-in conversation topic so I’m not doing too badly. I’ve just told this guy my Resolution for ’08 is to learn how to use chopsticks.
I have other Resolutions, less ridiculous Resolutions. None, however, are great party topics and who gives a shit anyway? He claims to have no Resolutions, so here we are talking about chopsticks.
It turns out this guy has lived in Hong Kong for a few years. "Just stab it, if you have to. Who cares?"
I hadn’t considered this tactic before. Just stab it. I’m a bit trashed so I think this is the best advice I’ve ever heard. I wonder why I tend to avoid situations where I’ll have to meet new people. New people are fascinating, man. Stab it. That’s gold. Think of all the other life situations, "Just stab it" could be applied to. Mental note: Meet more new people. It’s around this time that I eat a radish and proclaim it the best thing I’ve ever eaten.
Lisa comes back. The party is really going. We stab a shiny, happy start to our New Year.