When I filed for divorce, people wanted to know how I felt about it.
Here is how I felt/feel about it: Pretty fucking pissed off.
In a world that makes sense to me, the one who ends it files the papers, pays the fees. Goes away having cleaned up the mess, so we can BOTH move on. That world, is not the world I inhabit. In my world, it would be as worthwhile to wait for pigs to fly as wait for the Other Party to deal with the loose ends he created.
Suresh had called me, "the voice of that relationship." He meant, I’m the planner, the initiator, the one he could get confirmation from. For me, filing for divorce is just a continuation of being married. Me: taking care of things.
Much like reclaiming my maiden name two weeks after the bomb was my quiet stand, bulldozing the entire scene by taking on the divorce myself is my final Fuck You.
That actually feels pretty good.