You are mistaken RBC. This envelope is for REVENGE.

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The lock on my mailbox in the vestibule downstairs is a little wonky.  Wonky, as in, nobody but me can get it open.  My dad says this is something I should demand action on.  Something like the back steps.  My dad is probably right but to be honest, I don't really care that it is a pain in the ass to get the mailbox open.  I can get it open, therefore it is fine.  I do not mind the effort because I get so little paper mail, that usually it is something good and worth the effort.  It is part of the "charm" of living in this old-ass building.  However, sometimes I look through the little window and I am tricked into thinking there is something good in my mailbox, so I open it up.  Inevitably, this is when it turns out to be a credit card application or some other asshole trying to get me to subscribe to something.  I do not enjoy wasteful dicking around with my mailbox.

Fortunately banks, credit card companies and other assholes trying to get me to subscribe to things always include a postage paid envelope with their package.  This is a war on stupid fucking mail and these people must pay for wasting my time.  Unless you mail something back to them in their postage paid envelope, they don't pay.  Hence, RBC will be receiving my outdated Avon sale flyer, some information regarding a poetry slam last month, the receipt from the pizza I ordered an hour ago and a helpful pamphlet of upcoming yoga classes in my neighbourhood. 

I know it is small and petty but I don't care.

6 thoughts on “You are mistaken RBC. This envelope is for REVENGE.

  1. You evil, evil little girl!! Because of you our junk mail won’t come with prepaid postage envelopes and we will all have to put a STAMP on our credit card applications – because you KNOW we all need another credit card!! LOL!
    Hey next time put an address label on it to see if it will arrive at a different address with their paid postage…I wonder…

  2. It is really effective. I hardly get any direct marketing anymore. I don’t think I can win against a blanket campaign like this, but I still enjoy wasting their postage.
    @ Ingrid: *I’M* the evil one?! I’m totally trying that.

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