The Big Fat Cow

Big fat cow The Big Fat Cow*
Mackenzie Sinclair, Age 8
(Translation: Leslie Sinclair)

Once upon a time there was a barn.  Something was weird about their animals.  One day, there was a cow eating grass all day long, even at night.  When the rooster woke up and squealed, that cow was still eating. 

The rooster was so surprised he didn't even wake up the Farmer to milk the cow.  The Farmer's Wife woke up and said to the Farmer, "WAKE UP" in the Farmer's ear.  "Look at the rooster - the cow needs milking and you have to feed the pigs.  The cow is so fat!  What are we going to do about that fatness?  You can't even get under the cow to milk it!  He is, like, the fattest thing on Earth if you ask me!"

And the Farmer said, "Well, did I ask you?"

"Well, no."

"Then I don't need your opinion so shut up, Wife, you.  I'll go save the cow and do something with the rooster.  You just stay there in bed and look pretty."

"Then what are you going to do?" the Wife said, "Probably watch the hockey game."

"No, I am going to try to get the rooster out of shock from looking at the cow.  So what did I say?  Stand there and act pretty, I said.  Okay?  And not one word.  Zip, lock, throw away the key, I said!  NO SPEAKING.  You're really tall and if I was that tall I would fall right to the ground.  Ha!" said the farmer.

– The End –

One little joke here: How do you make a Kleenex dance?  Blow a little boogie in it.

* Click image for original version.

8 thoughts on “The Big Fat Cow

  1. Holy crap that was the funniest thing I’ve ever read!!! hahahahaha
    That right there is a very insightful look into the relationship between husband and wife…

  2. I love how she threw in that totally random joke at the end to lighten up the mood…! This really WOULD bring out a lot of discussion at your book club meeting! LOL!

  3. hahaha… my four year old niece told me a story this weekend about the Easter Bunny.
    She said, the Mommy Easter Bunny went out and hid eggs and chocolate for all the little kids in the world to find. When I asked, well what about the Daddy Easter Bunny? She replied, oh, he stays at home and watches the kids 😉

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