Seagulls vs. The Locker Room

One thing I'll never understand about the gym, is how it happens that women I've never seen or spoken to before come to think it's a good idea to strike up a conversation with me while I'm standing half-naked in the locker room. 

"Until this morning, I didn't know that birds ate other birds.  Did you?"

I must just look like the kind of girl who is really open to having a chit-chat with her tits hanging out.

"I mean, I was just sitting right there and a seagull swooped down and started eating a sparrow right in front of me!"

It's never, "Hey, you really killed that Revolved Side Angle pose earlier."  It's always something kind of crazy.

"I threw a bun at it, but it wouldn't stop.  I guess the bun just wasn't as tasty as the sparrow."

Honestly, you wouldn't believe the frequency with which this happens to me.

"I guess they have really strong beaks, seagulls."

I'm too soft; I always talk to these people.  It's a self-preservation mode I guess, one where I act over-interested in what they're saying. 

"Like a parrot or something.  Tori Spelling had to have surgery because her parrot bit her right in the nose."

FYI, this is a particularly ineffective technique for getting people to fuck off.

"I really hate seagulls now."

Anyway, seagulls do pretty much suck.

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