Advice to my Goddamn Fat Cells: Try Disappearing from my Ass Instead.

I said I wasn't going to talk about weight/weight loss on this blog, but I lied.  Talk about it I shall and about one facet in particular: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY BOOBS??? 

Now, I am well aware that I did not always have the gigantic boobs I had at the end of my marriage.  They were the by-product of getting fat in the first place.  So surely, somewhere deep, deep down I must have realized that eventually these behemoths were going to shrink. 

Or maybe I didn't.  Because I LIKE them and PEOPLE like them (Yes!  They do!) and I rather hoped that they might just stay that way.  I guess I thought this was an actual possibility given that I had to lose 50ish odd pounds before I even had to buy a smaller bra.  I bought that bra in early June and it was a full cup size smaller than my old bras.  I was happy about this turn of events because it meant I was now a more "normal" size and could find bras at regular department stores instead of having to go to a specialty place.

So, that was all well and good.  But now it is August and already I barely fill out that new bra.  The acceleration of fat loss from my boobs is getting out of hand and I'll level with you here: I AM FREAKING OUT! 

The Egyptian had this to say on the matter: Don't worry about the boobs, you'll always be hot.

I mean, you can't really complain about an answer like that.  It is pretty much the exact thing a girl freaking out about her boobs would hope to hear.  But will I be hot if I end up with those long, stretchy pancake boobs?  Omg.  It could happen.  Maybe I stretched out my boob skin too much with fat and it never retracts - National Geographic boobs ARE NOT HOT.  NOT!  HOT! 

Shit.  Shit.  Shit.

2 thoughts on “Advice to my Goddamn Fat Cells: Try Disappearing from my Ass Instead.

  1. It seems like the skin ought to retract somewhat. Think about pregnant women – even if some of our tummies never really go back to the way they were before we got pregnant, they CAN shrink back to where you do have a flat stomach, albeit with a slight pooch.
    I don’t have that experience with the boobage, though, if only because I have always had the big ‘uns. Even when skinny, I’m still a D cup. I’d like a nice C, myself.

  2. I really hope you are right Michelle!! I just got home from the mall with some “nice C” bras. I think that’s a pretty fine size too actually. Just worried I’m gonna end up looking like I breast fed 10 kids when I haven’t even breast fed one. Yeesh.

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