I said I wasn't going to talk about weight/weight loss on this blog, but I lied. Talk about it I shall and about one facet in particular: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY BOOBS???
Now, I am well aware that I did not always have the gigantic boobs I had at the end of my marriage. They were the by-product of getting fat in the first place. So surely, somewhere deep, deep down I must have realized that eventually these behemoths were going to shrink.
Or maybe I didn't. Because I LIKE them and PEOPLE like them (Yes! They do!) and I rather hoped that they might just stay that way. I guess I thought this was an actual possibility given that I had to lose 50ish odd pounds before I even had to buy a smaller bra. I bought that bra in early June and it was a full cup size smaller than my old bras. I was happy about this turn of events because it meant I was now a more "normal" size and could find bras at regular department stores instead of having to go to a specialty place.
So, that was all well and good. But now it is August and already I barely fill out that new bra. The acceleration of fat loss from my boobs is getting out of hand and I'll level with you here: I AM FREAKING OUT!
The Egyptian had this to say on the matter: Don't worry about the boobs, you'll always be hot.
I mean, you can't really complain about an answer like that. It is pretty much the exact thing a girl freaking out about her boobs would hope to hear. But will I be hot if I end up with those long, stretchy pancake boobs? Omg. It could happen. Maybe I stretched out my boob skin too much with fat and it never retracts - National Geographic boobs ARE NOT HOT. NOT! HOT!
Shit. Shit. Shit.