Bottoms up!

Early on in my marriage, my ex-husband showed me a brochure from a couples only resort in the Poconos. A couple of his friends had just returned from the place, thought the place was fantastic and suggested we go. I looked at the thing, and I guess what I should have noticed was that my husband was trying to do something nice. I guess I should have seen, “VACATION IN THE POCONOS, DUDE.”

Like really, Les, how bad can staying in the Poconos be? They’re very pretty to drive through, after all.

Anyway, all I saw was how cheezy and ridiculous and just kind of skeevy the place was and I laughed and laughed. I actually thought he was joking.  Even just now, I looked up the website to link in this post and after I stopped laughing, I almost vomited pondering what a blue light shone around the place would reveal. I’m sure a regular hotel room is just as bad, but at least they’re not so in your face about what’s goin’ on in there. He wasn’t joking though and one girl’s cheese is another girl’s romance, I guess.

The guy never did say why he was leaving at the end. For the longest time my friends and I really tried to figure out the reason. Now we just idly speculate about it since by now we’re all kind of glad he did. I often, for example, speculate that it was the time I went berserk after he’d emptied the Kool-Aid pitcher for the millionth time without making more Kool-Aid.

“What’s the big deal?” he asked and I screamed, “OTHER PEOPLE LIVE HERE!!!”  He didn’t come to bed that night. All because of Kool-Aid. (Oh yeah!) [<– YouTube alert to my friends at work, don’t click!]

Who knows though, right? I remember those people telling us about their Poconos adventure at our wedding reception in Philadelphia.  I guess the guy slipped him the brochure that day.  Maybe our marriage was dead from the day I laughed at the Cove Haven brochure. You just don’t know what grievances people are hanging onto.

Not to make fun of people when they’re being really earnest. This is, perhaps, one of the most important things I learned while I was married.

But I mean:

Come on now. If I had it to do over, I’d still laugh at a champagne glass hot tub.

5 thoughts on “Bottoms up!

    1. I’m not sure … maybe there is a ladder out of view? Or you step in from some sort of balcony? It all pretty much looks like a brain injury just waiting to happen.

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