A co-worker asked me yesterday how my eyes are these days, so here it is: My eyes have regressed.

I found out earlier this month at a routine three-month follow-up. They say it takes a full six months for the eyes to heal after Lasik surgery and throughout there are ups and downs in terms of vision and dryness. That’s normal. But sadly, here at the three-month mark, my vision is no longer improving and it’s not going to. In fact, it’s gotten a little worse since my previous check-up in August.

When I went in I was suffering from extremely dry eyes. My night drops were switched to an ointment to clear it up. Apparently sometimes clearing up a dryness issue clears up the vision problem.

“But prepare yourself for an enhancement,” I was told. Oddly, the dryness I’m experiencing is not on the part of my eye that was actually operated on. So it’s pretty unlikely that fixing my dry eyes is going to do a lick of good. Well, except make me a lot more comfortable.

After my surgery on August 7th, my eyes recovered really quickly. The next day they were already functioning at 85% (whatever that means, but it sounds good, right?) and by week’s end, I could already read one line below 20/20. Out of the gate, things were going so well.

So this news is disappointing, but what it isn’t, is surprising. Bad pre-surgery prescriptions equal a greater risk of requiring further surgery. If I understand it correctly (and I’m not sure I do), the more tissue that is removed from the cornea, the more  difficult it is for the eye to remodel itself. As the cornea stabilizes sometimes it puts some tissue back. It’s kind of like fat. Your body will do anything to hang onto the last ten pounds.

I had dinner with Paprika recently and when we were talking about this she said, “Everything you’re telling me is just proving more and more why I’ll never have it done.”

In my opinion, regression is no reason not to go through with laser eye surgery. Having Lasik is the best thing I’ve ever done. At the risk of sounding like a Lasik ad, it has changed my life completely. I cannot even tell you how much better my life is now that I am free of the tyranny of glasses. And when I say my eyes have regressed, we’re not talking like I’m walking into walls or anything. If I hadn’t been told I can’t see properly, I probably wouldn’t even have noticed.

I don’t mind having to go through another surgery so much. The entire operation probably takes less than five minutes. It really is a piece of cake. I even know a few people who had to have enhancements. Eventually their eyes became perfect.  So I feel okay about it. What I don’t fancy is having to start over with the crazy eye drop schedule and the dark glasses for another six months. Luckily it will be winter, so I won’t be getting much UV action anyway.

The question everyone asks when they find out about the “enhancement” is, “Do you have to pay again???”  No siree. You’re covered for a year, unless you pay extra for the fancypants package which gives you lifetime care. I paid extra. It’s my eyes, dude. It’s not like I was choosing between the C and the D implant!

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