Guess what, you guys? I will be spending my Saturday night in a sleep clinic. It’s pretty awesome. I bet you wish that’s what you were doing on Saturday night! You are totally jealous of my happening single life!

I think this is really my last resort. I have tried every home remedy known to mankind. If I don’t start getting more sleep I am probably going to do something really retarded. Example: This morning I was talking to my boss on the phone and I began to think she was speaking Chinese. I could NOT understand what she was saying.  It ended being something not particularly complex like, “Please sign that letter and send it.” Seriously.

I miss sleep. My greatest fear is that my sleep testing is going to prove that I don’t have any sleep problems, that I am basically just bonkers. Hopefully even if I am just bonkers they will give me some drugs. I don’t care about my liver anymore. I just want to sleep a whole night.

Anyway, they kick you out of this place at six in the morning! Whaaat? And a credible source tells me that you leave with “cum looking gunk in your hair”.  So if nothing else, at least it’ll look like I had a pretty exciting night.

7 thoughts on “Zzz

  1. I wish you the sweetest of dreams…

    One question though – if you’re currently unable to get any sleep at home, how are you going to fall asleep at the sleep clinic? Do they knock you out?

    And we’re all bonkers. I just self medicate with whiskey.

    1. I don’t think it matters how you sleep while you’re there – they apparently wake you up all night anyway! I actually have no problem falling asleep, but I chronically wake up at 3am (WHY).

      Dude, you gotta be careful using alcohol to sleep. When your blood alcohol levels start to fall it creates a stimulant/sleep disruptive effect!

    1. @ Mary: Ohh noooos, anything but the machine! I haven’t seen Blue Velvet, but I just looked it up and I should totally see it.

      @ KED: Thanks!! I think the gunk sticks the electrodes on (or helps them work, or something). Yucky.

  2. I LOVE the machine!! My life is forever changed since Husband got the machine!! He is a different person and it is fantastic!

    He used to fall asleep on the couch because he wasn’t getting enough sleep in the night. He used to be tired all the time and now he isn’t.

    Did I mention how much I love the machine??

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