Good Deeds

It doesn’t take that much effort to make somebody’s life better.

I wasn’t expecting anyone Sunday afternoon when I heard my door buzzer, so I didn’t answer it. I’m pretty paranoid that way. I live by myself and my building is old. We don’t have a camera system to spy on the lobby. When it buzzed a second time, despite having been told by both no less than an hour earlier that neither planned to stop by, I began to think it was The Egyptian or my father.

“Hi, I live two floors down and I’m having a squirrel problem with my air conditioner,” a disembodied man’s voice told me.

“Oh,” I said, “I’m having one, too.”

Apparently, he’d noticed. In fact, he advised me one was out there right now. I knew this already, but was exercising my right to denial. Temporary Cat wasn’t doing much about it either.

“I just wanted to tell you to that someone told me to put chilli flakes on the sill and it’s working. Chilli flakes!”

Chilli flakes? Last year, my Dad rigged up a crazy system to prevent the squirrel from building his house on my sill. Of course, when Dad showed up last month to put the air conditioner in, to his reasonably well concealed irritation, I couldn’t find his Squirrel Prevention System. Anywhere. I resolved to look for it but then the squirrel didn’t bother with my a/c, so I didn’t either.

Some advice: When dealing with squirrels, it is probably best not to assume anything. Crafty is the squirrel’s middle name, and yes, that very morning my old friend had commenced his annual construction efforts.

I had a ton of chilli flakes in the kitchen, leftover from a brief (but torrid) love affair with chilli con carne last winter so with sadness – I do admire the squirrel’s perseverance and work ethic – that night I opened the window, tore out his still-small nest and put out the chilli flakes.

End scene. The squirrel did not return. I defeated him with chilli flakes, but the win was too easy. I assume nothing and await retaliation.

(And thanks Guy Downstairs, for making my life better).

Previous squirrel stories:
2010
2009
2008

2 thoughts on “Good Deeds

  1. I think your squirrel stories are freakin’ hilarious! But in this one I mostly love the line about your dad’s “reasonably well concealed irritation”….LOL! I can totally imagine that!

  2. Congratulations on this victory. Be careful, I would bet that Squirrel Crafty will eventually pop up in your closet or something.

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