Talk to me when …

Every woman should have a couple girlfriends who are a few years older than them. Why? They have been where you are and they know where you’re going. It is a well-known fact that as women get older, they lose capacity for putting up with bullshit. Therefore, unlike girlfriends of your own age, their tolerance for your theatrics is significantly diminished. Their advice does not come with a sugar coating. This is a good thing.

For example, I have Lisa, who is nine years older than me.

A couple years ago, I complained to her that as I aged, my eyebrows were starting to come in all over the place. Half up my forehead, half-way in between the brow and my eye-lid, etc. Places where eyebrows have no business growing.

“Talk to me when you have a hair on your chin,” she said.

This past summer, there it was. The hair on my chin. The proof, as if I really needed any more, that I am actually in my mid-30s.

Obviously, I advised Lisa immediately.

“Well, Hon. I understand how you feel,” she said, “But talk to me when you find a hair on your chest.”

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