Happy 8th Birthday, Simon

Simon Gagné rocking a sexy play-off beard. You'll always be a Flyer to me, Simon! Photo: MICHAEL DWYER (AP)


Dear Simon,

Notwithstanding that I was married at the time, you and I both know you made a mistake in not pursuing me when I wrote to you about your MacFarlane figurine. Simon, you’re just going to have to live with the fact that you’re now married to and have a child with someone who is not me. That said, I’m willing to put our differences aside for today, since it’s a big one: You’re officially 8 years old today, and that is pretty awesome. Happy Leap Day and Happy Birthday.


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