Q: What does the dentist of the year get?*

Thanks to the Spadina Museum for posting this crazy video on Facebook.

My finest accomplishment of 2012 is my complete transformation into the kind of person who flosses her teeth. Unfortunately, it is also tinged with a bit of sadness. Until now, one of my greatest joys in life has been bitching about the dentist’s You Should Floss Lecture with my friend, Trisha.

The content of these conversations is generally the same every time. They go:

ONE OF US: So, I went to the dentist the other day.
THE OTHER ONE: Omg, did you get The Lecture?
THE FIRST ONE: Like seriously, I’m not going to floss, so LET’S JUST MOVE ON ALREADY.

I can’t explain why I love these conversations so much, except that maybe I think Trisha looks like a flosser, the way Ingrid thinks I look like I love milk.** So every time Trisha admits she doesn’t floss it blows my friggin mind.

So, I went to the dentist one day back in the spring. Actually, I went to the hygenist, because it was time for a cleaning.

Listen, for quite some time it had been getting increasingly obvious that I needed to start flossing. The twice daily brushing wasn’t cutting it, in fact, my overzealous brushing had been causing some problems (the only cure for which was, to my chagrin, flossing). And despite what Listerine may tell you, swishing your mouth with electric blue bacteria killer is not the same as flossing. Believe me, I tried that approach. Still, I was in some major denial.

Anyway, I had a new hygenist. Marianne, an Egyptian. This was totally awesome news. I was super psyched to add a third person to the roster of people who will tolerate me discussing Egyptian politics (the other two people are The Egyptian and my Dad). Marianne poked around in my mouth and I knew it was a bloody mess.

Here comes The Lecture, I thought. I shifted my eyes from the fancy ceiling-mount TV to look at her. She looked back at me. Marianne removed her tools from my mouth.

“Sooooooo, how’s the flossing going?” she asked.

Reading this, I can tell it doesn’t sound that funny, but I am telling you, we laughed for like ten minutes straight. Then she stroked my ego a bit (“yes, I know flossing your bottom teeth is very hard because they’re so close together”) before giving me a key piece of advice: Flossing sucks so to start out, do it while you’re watching a show you like to reinforce the good habit. I chose to floss during The Voice, if you must know, since it is on multiple times a week. It’s crazy, but she was right. I got really into flossing while I was distracted by TV. The Voice = Time to floss! Yaaay!***

So, the moral of the story is, apparently if you want to influence me, either be an Egyptian or at least find an Egyptian to pass me your message. (I bet you thought I was going to say you should floss your teeth).


* A: a little plaque.
** Blech!!
*** Now that I’m a hardcore flosser, I just floss in front of the bathroom mirror. *flex*

2 thoughts on “Q: What does the dentist of the year get?*

  1. So I guess this means we’ll have to find other things to bitch about when we get together?? Hmmm….something tells me that won’t be too difficult. Congrats on the flossing – I only feel slightly abandoned but I’m sure your gums thank you!

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