I’m still with her

My friend Alice turned one this week. I gave her a book about creatures of the ocean, but what I really wanted for her was to grow up in a world where she couldn’t remember that once a woman couldn’t be the leader of the free world.

I wanted her to grow up in a world where it’s my reality to be harassed on the street, but not hers. I wanted her to grow up in a world where her reproductive rights aren’t constantly under threat, where she isn’t held to higher standards than an unqualified man, and where sexual assault isn’t such a normalized part of the culture that when a woman says she has been assaulted that people (men, the court system) actually believe her. I wanted Alice to grow up in a world where the possibility of being sexually assaulted doesn’t inform every decision she makes about what she wears, where she goes, how late she stays out, how much she drinks, and who she associates with. I wanted her to have equal pay for equal work and I wanted her to not be criticized because she’s wearing a fucking pantsuit – exactly what she’s supposed to be wearing – to conduct business in. I wanted her to have Hillary.

You know, I know that not all of this would have changed if Hillary won last night, but it would have been a good start. What America does matters for all of us. It is a sad, sad day for North American women and I’m glad that Alice won’t be able to remember that time America hated women so much that it elected Donald Trump.

33 thoughts on “I’m still with her

  1. Are you one of the “We believe survivors” even though they got caught on the stand lying and colluding? Their credibility was shot to shit in the Ghomeshi case and had these women been men, they’d of been charged with perjury.

    When the justice said, “Careless with the truth” what do you think he meant? When the FBI said Hillary was, “Extremely careless”, what do you think it meant?

    Hillary’s credibility aint that great and that among other things, cost her large.

    America doesn’t hate women. You took a typical Liberal female stance. If attention had been paid to climate and history, you’d of seen this coming.

    I love being right. I don’t love the state of the union and by that I mean the state of the world.


    1. You are an idiot. When you are a female, you can talk to me about typical Liberal female stances. These are our stances because this is our lived reality. You need to educate yourself about why women would feel like they need to collude in a sexual assault trial.

      1. You are typical Liberal arrogant and will be nothing but your entire life. You advocate lying and deception as acceptable. It isn’t.

        It doesn’t matter why they felt the need to collude. They lied to the Crown and on the stand. That is wrong period end of story.

      2. In fact, it DOES matter. Ghomeshi didn’t even have to speak. Get a clue. Wow, a man is trolling me, must have said something feminist!

      3. I do have a clue and you are a fool who supports lying on the stand.

        Ghomeshi didn’t have to testify because of what those women did. They made it possible for him to not take the stand.

        I responded to a posting. But because it’s a man and you don’t like that he’s right you go with the RITE of the FemiNazi.

    2. Dagnabbit, woman!!!!! YOU ARE NASTY You got too much book learnin for youre own good thats right, I speak real truth. When Trump says “grab by the pussy”, what do you think that meant? Game over, you’re wrong!!!!!!!!

  2. G.R. Hambley…………………having a bad day??????? Shut the effff up! What do you know about “typical female” anything. You do however know a lot about the “arrogant” part. Just like Trump!

    1. Poor old Gary has some serious anger issues.Either his mom pissed in his cornflakes or he blames women for his small penis. Jake

  3. Just read your profile G.R. Hambley. I was especially drawn to these words … “I’m always humane unless you put me in a position where I have to be something else.” It sounds like false advertising since it doesn’t take much to make you “something else.”
    I feel sorry for you. Too bad a simple little blog (written by a woman) can put you into such a temper. GET A GRIP!!!

  4. I.P. Addresses are unique. I’m praying you trolled yourself and Admin fires you and your blog off the site Ms. Pufnbley.

    I made a fair statement and assessment. You’re the one that went bat shit crazy and got abusive. You just didn’t like anyone let alone a man contradicting your wrong conclusion.

    You are exactly what you rage against and completely without credibility.

    Pass it around, no where was I inhumane. You just don’t like getting called out on your crap.

    This is why I’m credible and you’re to be ditched. Run these numbers through what you call a mind.

    125.9 million women and 119.4 million men in the US of A. As I recall women have the vote. Soooooooo if it was “Women’s issues”, and America hating women as I saw one woman post, and lets say we take oh, 10% of the male populace that can’t stand Trump and add it to the number of women….. who do you think wins?

    Hillary was the status quo of the political machine. Hillary much to the chagrin of the left wing wasn’t viewed as a woman of distinction and was viewed as a cog in that political machine. So how is that for equal?

    You, the bigots like you, and the darlings of the left wing media should of paid attention, you’d of seen it coming.

      1. Gary, I wrote a post about being a woman, not about numbers. Any conclusion I draw about being a woman BASED ON BEING A WOMAN is inherently correct. Being a woman is in no way something that you can speak to. If you don’t like what you find here, there are a lot of blogs out there that conform to your world view for you to read. And you really do need to understand that it’s “would have” if you want to be a writer who is taken seriously.

      2. You wrote a post about believing her. Her is Hillary. I addressed with analogy how behaviour is viewed.

        I’ll tell you another thing, Kathleen Wynne gets it (I don’t know who told the incompetent that is her) and you don’t so what does that say about your abilities to process?

        I’ll give you one more about me. I said at the time of the leadership race. I said it after election and I say it again now today, the best person for the lead of the Liberal Party was the mother of Trudeau’s 1/2 sister, Deborah Coyne. I would suggest you check out her current site but I just don’t see you believing in one Canada for all Canadians because you’ve already proved it.

        I won’t be back unless you give me reason to.

      1. Well ass hole it’s this way. It is absolutely correct and don’t let the language drive you to looking for a safe space!

        Asswipe huh … well I wiped her ass with the facts and busted her with the truth. Lying and collusion is acceptable.

        This is a truth. I know you’ll not understand. After all, some know nothing pigs irregardless of gender are more equal than others aren’t they.

      2. “I wiped her ass with the facts and busted her with the truth.”

        Very clever, indeed. You’ve clearly changed all our minds. Thank you for educating us.

        p.s. irregardless is not a word.

      3. You’re welcome! Nice to see you’re starting to comprehend.

        I changed my mind. I figure under equality I have that prerogative too. I hope that IP address is yours!

      4. The thing is, I know you’re speaking english, but I have truly no idea what you’re saying.

        “Comprehend.” Big word. Understand would have been a more appropriate word choice, but I get you need to sound smart to yourself.

        “Perogative.” Four syllables. Smartie pants! Did you learn that from Bobby Brown?

        p.s. Asshole is one word when used as an adjective, and two words (ass hole) when used as a noun.

      5. You have no clue what’s appropriate. When I want advice on appropriate, it would never be taken from a pig that sees herself as more equal than others.

        Kindness…. you’re a hypocrite too!

      6. Gary, give up on the IP address issue. You’re not that important and I don’t have time to troll myself (and I certainly don’t have time to create an alternate identity and manufacture another blog under that identity in order to defend myself).

      7. You’re only importance is to serve as a good example of a bad example. We already know you support lying and colluding from your own words. Who’d believe you didn’t troll yourself without proof.

  5. Gary, let me save you a little trouble here. I am an over-educated, brown-skinned woman. Basically, your worst nightmare. But I would happily correct your grammar all day, so keep ’em coming. This is fun!

  6. I’m shocked that these 3rd wave feminist lies are so firmly entrenched in our society. Catcalling isn’t rape. Regret or carelessness isn’t rape & returning to someone who has abused you, indicates that you have decided you will tolerate it (consent).
    This fits in with the lie that whites have automatic privilege & that non-whites are too weak & incompetent to achieve anything without getting special treatment.

    The powers that be, want us all fighting & hating each other & it’s working.
    For heaven’s sake people, forget the brainwashing & learn some facts.

    I’m female BTW & don’t recognise the horrors you have written. Real life is not so scary (unless you want it to be).

    1. I don’t have a lot of energy to devote energy to commenters who don’t own their opinions with their real name. Nevertheless:

      First, returning to an abuser categorically does not indicate consent. But you’re right about catcalling. It isn’t rape. That doesn’t mean that it a) is right b) is something that I should have to tolerate in my life and c) isn’t something I’d prefer Alice never has to experience. Just because something isn’t really bad, doesn’t mean it’s great or even acceptable. I did not frame the issues I wrote about as “horrors” and I didn’t say that life is scary. In fact, I rarely feel scared going about my life in the city. These are, though, ways that being a woman affects my life. If you, as a woman, have truly never experienced any of these issues, well then, I am happy for you. The reason, however, that these “3rd wave feminist lies are so firmly entrenched in our society” is because they are real.

      As for white privilege: It, too, is real and it doesn’t mean that non-whites are “too weak and incompetent to achieve anything without special treatment.” It means that we are starting from very different places. But I understand your position. It is much harder to accept white privilege, to try to figure out what to do about it, and to feel the pain that occurs when you really start understanding. All you really need to do to start acknowledging white privilege is to get some non-white friends and walk around with them. Notice how they are treated differently than you are, how you are looked at differently when you are with them, and then start applying that knowledge in a broader context.

      Finally, “powers that be” usually want us quiet and complacent. So with respect, if you think speaking out is a problem, I’d suggest that you may be brainwashed yourself.

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